The Real Me

When people told me that blogs are loners diary I didn't believe, I still don't but in my case I guess it's true though I don't blog much, I do write a lot which I don't publish.
So basically I'm trying to figure out why I'm a loner or rather why I doesn't matter in someone's life to a great extent. Why don't I have the confidence to speak up without stuttering and stammering with someone new? Why can't I take my decisions quickly, I'm indecisive?

Maybe because of the people around me or maybe I don't have the guts to speak up.
But whatever it is I want to change it, I want to come out of this shell, I want to do what my heart tell me to do. I want to be the real me. When I look at people chattering, speaking boldly with everyone I want to do that.
I want to answer the questions the lecturer asks in class with confidence even if the answer is wrong. I want to speak the words which I write out loud. I know that actually I'm not like this, I'm not reserved, I'm not silent, I want to have a lot of friends, I want to tell my mom that she IS wrong and I'm correct, I want to tell her to shut up for once (she keeps chattering non stop, my head will explode some day). I want to go out somewhere for a week ALONE, just me.
I don't know what I should do for all these things to happen but I don't know how.